It's hard not to think about all things baby when you are surrounded by it. Most of my friends had kids before me so I was always going to showers and buying gifts. I don't know if you are ever 100% ready for it and even then, it rocks your world like nothing you can ever imagine. It's the best thing I ever did but also the hardest. You are still plenty young but don't wait forever if you want to have more than one. I wouldn't buy the sling because there will probably be something equally as fabulous by the time that you have a baby. It's been 5 years since my son was born and there are so many more neat things available now. Go on your trip to Paris and do those things you want to do because it will be harder to do once you have children.

I usually lurk around here, but I had to comment on this because I felt the exact same way before we had our son. I am someone who overanalyzes everything, and I think that I would have examined my readiness for kids right until I was about 60 years old. Our son came along as a "happy accident", and it was the best thing ever. Now we are expecting #2. For me, I was more ready than I thought.

BTW, I love that baby sling. May need it for #2....

I went from the "We aren't having kids" to I need a baby now on my 30th birthday. It was like a switch was flipped. My husband still talks about it 10 years later. Especially when I say things like "I'll never..." Buy the sling.

I always thought the "biological clock" was a myth until I started having the same feelings you described here. It sounds like you are dipping your toes into the thought of the next phase of your life. It takes a while to wrap your head around all the changes it will bring. Don't worry, you'll know when it's time. In the meantime, enjoy the traveling and dinners out and getting to the yoga studio. And then you'll enjoy babies even more because you won't regret not having done "couples" things!!

i love your blog!

I always thought the "biological clock" was a myth until I hit 30 and started having the same feelings. You'll definitely know when it's time.
In the meantime- get in as much travelling and dinners out and yoga as you can!!!

I LOVE your blog!

I'm going through the same thing... I'll be 30 in November, but don't feel emotionally or financially ready for a child. I'm THE ONLY one of my group of friends who does not have human attached to my hip (or any other body part!), but I just still have that i'm-not-sure feeling inside me. I, too, have too many things I want to do. Thought maybe I'd be ready by the end of this year, but we decided to go to Spain (with a side trip to Morocco) for our 5th anniversary next summer, so I guess parenthood will just have to wait. ;)

... and good restraint w/ the sling, erin! i think it was the right decision. :)

I felt the same way when I was 30...I was always the girl who said she wasn't going to have kids...and then 30 rolled around and BAM I was hit with the baby bug. Who knew? I agree wholeheartedly that you should enjoy your time alone with your husband...take those trips you've always wanted to take. We took two "trips of a lifetime" before we had the baby and we're so happy we did.

Having a baby does change your life in a huge way, but it doesn't mean you can't do anything anymore...we take baby everywhere!

I bought two little paintings when I was in Thailand (years before we had baby) with the full intent of using them in our future nursery. It was a special moment for me when I actually did hang them up in his room.

I think I shouted "yes!" like a thousand times while reading this post..."yes!" to wanting to purchase baby stuff before I am even close to it. "yes!" to being in that place where you aren't quite sure if you'll ever be ready. "yes!" to questioning if you want to decorate a nursery or purchase anything serena&lily for that matter, more than you want the little human that would use it all. I got married at 20 but now, at 25 am just starting to pursue becoming an interior designer. Its a goal that at this point seems more important than starting a family because I would like to not only encourage my kids to follow their dreams- I want to lead by example too. I think they will be thankful I did...and yours will be too so make sure you do what you need to before and you will know when the time is right.

Oy. Tough call. I was 33 when I had my first and am glad I waited (I now have three ie twins). The longer you wait, the harder the transition, in my opinion. You get used to your life and it's harder to make the switch to "baby comes first." If you know your DH is going to be awesome, it will be a much easier ride (my DH is a total rock-star dad and I couldn't breathe w/o his daily contributions).

Have fun in Paris. Buy the sling, and whatever else you fear you won't be able to find when the time is right (tuck them away in the closet behind the toilet paper). Cheers! xoxo

Oh, Erin - the biological clock is a real thing. I'm a firm believer in it, although I'm sure not all women experience it. A light bulb went off in my brain two years ago and suddenly I found myself smiling at screaming babies in the airport instead of cursing them silently in my head. Can't explain it. Just happened. And it doesn't go away - waiting at the light by the Pond yesterday I found myself counting all the strollers going by!

Erin - your blog cracked me up this morning. I feel the same about bridal magazines (getting them before the ring is on your finger :)) - you DO have plenty of time, don't stress. but hell, buy it if you want to! you can always call it a "gift" for someone else, but its really for you.

I understand your feelings, as I have them as I am about to hit the big 4-0. I am still single and absolutely love my life and do not regret one moment I've spent without kids--I've traveled, been active in my community and forged a wonderful career. But now, as 40 looms I've decided it's time for a family, so I'm going to have a baby....when you're ready you will know it.....for know live it up....and while in Paris if you can take a day trip, go to Chartres---the most magnificient cathedral in France (and make sure you take Malcolm Smith's tour)!

Do you ever really know that you're ready? I'm not so sure. We've been trying for well over a year now, but I still think I'll freak the eff out if we get pregnant and it won't just be because it finally worked.

We knew it was time to start trying when we caught ourselves saying things like "this will be so much fun when we have kids" or "I can't wait to bring our family here someday".

We definitely haven't crossed all of our singleton stuff off of our list yet, but being that we're only 30 there are a lot of years left to get it all done.

Good luck with the decision and DON'T buy baby stuff before the baby. Yes, it's bad juju and also the money is better spent on something you won't have the heart to waste it on once you do have kids :)

It is a weird thing. I'm 31 now and am planning on going back to grad school and moving to a new city with my husband. But there's always the "when will a baby fit into this?" question. I'm slowly becoming more comfortable with the idea of having kids, but I don't think my biological clock has actually gone off. I'm always scared it's going to go off too late...like when I'm 42 and just not able to have kids anymore. This growing up thing is weird.

Sometimes you aren't the one setting the biological clock. Sometimes it falls out of the sky and knocks you in the head. At least that is what happened to me! I was shocked to find out 3 months before my 29th birthday I was pregnant. Due in a month, I can tell you that nothing really prepares you for this. I was putting bottles away in a cabinet the other night and thought to myself that I have no idea how to make a bottle and I sure hope someone tells me. I will say that I do have that Serena and Lily sling in the flax/blue color and I can't wait to sport it! My baby might not have the best tasting bottles but darn it - he will be toted around in style! :)

wow! i feel the same way tooooo! i'm a wee bit older (32) and my husband and i have been married for TEN YEARS!!!! we always thought we never wanted kids, but in the last few years (probably since i turned 30...) i have this urge to think babies and it usually lasts a couple of weeks! haven't acted on it YET but i know it's only a matter of time...or is it? AAAAHHH! i'm stuck in limbo-land, constantly asking myself do i really want to go for it? it's hard b/c we're so happy with the way things are! and yes, yes, i have ALMOST bought a ton of baby things. there are just so many cute things out there now! ...thanks for the post and letting me know i'm not alone!

I guess when it comes to motherhood you are probably never mentally ready for what will come your way, but you will be so blown away but the indescribable love and connection that you will have with your baby (after they stop screaming for 3 months of colic in Ruby's case) and just could never picture your life without them. Yes, you will have less time for scouting out fabulous fashions, stores and design goodies, but you're so damn talented that motherhood will certainly just add another beautiful layer to your talents. I just clean the house less to make time for mothering and designing :-) Yay, for the cleaning lady!

Thanks so much for the link to Darcy's blog. Her photography is fantastic and puts my snapshots to shame!

One thing that is true - on paper children make no sense. Financially, they are a sinking ship. I was wondering if I ever was going to be ready to do this. I knew I wanted to - but when? When had I traveled enough, when did we have enough money, when would my "to do before I die" list be short enough. ANSWER: Never...

There will always be more money to make and more wonderful places to see.

I am due in Jan. and even though we tried for over a year - I am still not sure I am "ready"...I am truly scared to death on screwing it up a lot of the time. I realized I may never be 100% ready, but I was 100% sure it was something I couldn't miss.

There is a a lot to look forward to, seeing my child in the ocean for the first time, trying gelato in Italy... I am so ready to see that.

Oh... love the sling - is is on my list.

Starting about 28 I started going back and forth on if I was ready to have kids. One week I REALLY wanted to be pregnant and start a family - then the next I was over it. I travelled a lot for work during that time and at night when I didn't have anything else to do I'd go shopping. I found a blanket(baby) in a store once and fell in love with it - I loved the color and I loved how soft it was. I bought it and let me tell you - 6 years later it is my 2 year old FAVORITE. That night night goes everywhere and you can see her relax when she lays down with it. Long story short? You like the sling...BUY IT! You'll be glad you did.

I completely identify with this post. In my opinion you're never ready to have a baby until the time comes. I find myself surrounded by friends and family having babies and constantely asking me when I'm planning to be a mom. Hint, I have 3 nieces and 3 nephew, I figure that's enough for now. By the way you would make an adorable mommy and would look gorgeous pregnant. I guess you only know when the time comes, at least you are getting some traveling out of the way.

Erin - maybe it's time! I'm just kidding of course, because that's all up to you and Andrew. The nursery you designed for Erika was gorgeous. I only hope I'll be able to have as beautiful a nursery when my Husband and I have kids. We're both 25, and we're both just waiting to see when it happens - we're ready for kids. Even though finances are scary for sure.

It's all been said, but I just wanted to add that I've found it completely doable to run a decorating business for myself and raise little ones at the same time. I used to be in finance a few years ago and that was a whole different story. I feel like being a decorator is the perfect job to have while being a mom - you can't beat the flexibility. Granted, you might not be able to do as much as before, but it is a good way to feel like you CAN have it all (career and kids).

I was dying laughing reading this because I do/think exactly the same thing!!! Although we're getting closer to baby time (come on, husband!), it still seems far off in the future... I love to read nursery/baby blogs (and DIED when I saw Erika's plans...heaven!!!), and I've already bought these French alphabet cards for our future nursery... So, no, you're not crazy. And P.S. I might want to pick up that sling too - it's good to plan ahead, right?!

Erin,
My mom always told me "if you wait until youre "ready", you'll never be "ready". SO... just make a baby already! ;) I'd still be running thoughts (just like all those you just posted) through my head if my husband hadn't given me a little nudge that it was time. He's older than I am (6 years) and he was right... we ain't getting any younger. Make a baby in Paris. Then come back and it can be baby-fest around here... it'll be fun. Do it!
;)
XOXO
erika
ps- You MADE my day with your kind words about the nursery!!! The bumpers, crib skirt and draperies were delivered yesterday- installing them tonight!! YEAH!!!
pps- went to lester and harry's last week when I was in boston. it is to die for. the S&L slings - i was tempted... they are so freaking cute... didn't do it. but might.

Erin, you are like me and focused on your career and life. However, my friends who have recently had kids say that you are never truly "ready" and have everything in line in your life before baby. You just have to let it happen and figure out your life around it.

The baby sling is pretty fab, but who knows what may come out in a year or so from now that you may like more? Just like your designs, baby stuff just keeps getting better and better! I say, buy the sling for your good friend/family member, and give it to her with the promise that when you have children, it will be lent back to you. By then, it may not be your dream item, but you can still appreciate it as much as you do today.

Please take this advice from an older mom. BUY IT IF YOU LOVE IT! I fell in love once with some handmade Christmas stockings. I only needed three at the time, but so desperately wanted another baby. (Like your wonderful sling, these were very special and probably would not be around if and when I did need another one) I had been through a terrible tragedy in my life and did not know what the future held. I am happy to tell you that I bought FOUR stockings, just in case, and we now have been using those stockings for 15 years!

It's all about taking a leap and just jumping in with your eyes both open and closed.

That sling is of great interest to me. I purchased various slings and carriers for my little guy and seriously used them a handful of times. Hundreds of dollars down the drain, but others swore by them so maybe it was just me?

This post is so sweetly honest, it pulled at my heartstrings. There is no perfect time to be pregnant but you'll know when you're ready.

No harm in buying something that you will need in the future, especially if it's cute. :)

I wouldn't sweat it too much, the truly emphatic baby-wearing community is pretty anti-sling. They're not comfy for mommy (read: you won't want to wear it when your back hurts after 10 minutes no matter how beautiful it is). So bright side? You're not missing much! Want good ergonomic examples? Try http://www.marvelouskiddo.blogspot.com/

I have a sixteen month old and I was 100% sure I wanted to be a mommy until I got pregnant! Then I started second guessing myself and wondering if I would even be a good mom. All of the worries went away when I saw Grayson for the first time. Being a mommy is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. It is hard and fun and stressful all at the same time!

No one is every truly ready for a baby. Ever. It's impossible to fully prepare. However...you're brilliant to take that responsibility seriously instead of just jumping right in, the first clue that you'll be an amazing mom. And you're wise to do things like have tons of fun with your husband, achieve goals in your career, and travel to places you may not normally go while raising a young brood. Interior Design is a great career to have if you're a mom, it's not as structured as other jobs so you can control which clients you take on and change up your schedule to suit your family's needs. I was able to do design work throughout all four of my kids' infant years. Sometimes I'd bring along a wee little one on client appointments!

You will be a super cool mom. And we all know the nursery will rock.

P.S. My sister has that sling in grey and loves it!

If I had not gotten pregnant unsuspectingly (biggest surprise of my life! I was on birth control, for goodness' sake!), I probably too would still be pondering whether or not it was the right time to have a baby. I was getting really busy with my freelance career and feeling really good about it. But then the little one came along, and now nearly two years later, I can't imagine how it would be any other way. Yes, I love what I do, and I still make time to do it - it's part of what helps me feel sane in an otherwise crazy, sippy-cup-laden season of motherhood -- but hands down the best part of my day is getting to be with Jude.

I think it's on the Lululemon bags where they have their little manifesto for life, and I often think back to this one quote from there: "Children are the orgasm of life." And it's so so true.

There will always be one more trip to take, one more project to tackle.

1) Post so not annoying
2) The visual of Andrew in the baby store having cardiac episode over baby shirt is priceless
3) In my humble opinion (I have 1 yr old girl and 4 yr old boy), you will never really "be" ready. When it happens you become ready. There really is no way to prepare for the awesomeness.
4) You can have the best of both worlds if you want it. (ie: design and baby, you work for yourself, right? That doesn't have to change.)
Hope that helps. :)

Nessa, that is really well put.

I can totally relate to this.I have come so close to buying handmade baby dresses in Mexico and baby girl shoes in Italy, but each time, I talked myself out of it thinking I would jinx myself and never have a girl.

I really want a baby, but I really want to check more things off my "list" before I do. For the past couple of years, I have thought "maybe we'll start trying next year" and then the following year rolls around and we're still not quite ready. In January, I was planning to apply to a Masters program in Spain that goes on for 6weeks this summer and again for 6 weeks next summer, but I had to pass because of the possibility that I might be pregnant or have a baby then. Well, now it's too late and I don't think we will even start trying until next summer (first we thought this fall) because we want to go to Spain for our 5 year wedding anniversary next June or July. Add to all of this the fact that I have some health issues that make me pretty sure that we might have trouble conceiving and the whole thing gets even more confusing. I wish I had a crystal ball!

I guess you just have to keep what Nessa said in mind. There is no perfect time. I suppose things will happen when they are meant to be. Good luck trying to figure it out!

If you want to buy it and it brings you relief, buy it.

I am one of your blog stalkers :-) I am a licensed interior designer in Texas and I adore your blog. I never leave comments but religiously check your site. I felt compelled to post today behind many tears. I think they are coming from just being able to relate. I just turned 31 on the 4th and everyone my age around me is having kiddos. My husband is ready too and I am freaking out! I told him that if he took me to Italy that I would consider it, ha!...well we just got back from a wonderful trip to Italy last week. I don't have any words of wisdom, as this is something that I am mentally struggling with myself. I mainly wanted to thank you for posting something so personal. I've read all of the comments like they were written to me :-)and your post this morning has given me some peace, I guess in feeling that I'm not alone and that these are thoughts and feelings that many women face at this time in our lives.
I also don't think there is anything wrong with buying something you love. You can always give it away as a gift if you never need it.
Enjoy Paris!!!

the way i see it, i don't think it's ever possible for someone to say, "yes, i am ready to be a mom". Or maybe i'm just speaking for myself.

When I got pregnant last year, i think i was like "OMG, i'm going to kill this kid before he/she is even a week old, and i'm suppose to raise her to be a good person who will make a difference in the world???"

she's 7 months old now, and i have to say, that having her is the greatest joy in my life. I cannot imagine life without her now, nor do i want to.

My one and only baby is about to turn 19. I can still remember how it felt to "need" to get pregnant NOW!!! Friends having babies didn't phase me. My biological clock didn't tick softly for a few years. I didn't ruminate on the logistics. One of your commenters said it was like a switch got flipped on... all the way ON, full power, no dimmer. It didn't matter one bit that I had a great job with lots of promise and we had just a few months prior bought a new house and proceeded to gut it. I got pregnant immediately. When my daughter was born, her nursery, the master, the living room and one bath were finished. The rest of the house was pretty much a mess and one of my two cats had also given birth... to 6 kittens... in the closet of the torn-up room that would be my office. (hers was an unplanned pregnancy!) Two and a half yrs later, I had completely changed careers to something more kid-friendly and only now am I getting back to the more creative work I did before baby. Don't overthink it. Raising a child is the coolest/hardest/most frustrating/most rewarding thing you'll ever do. For me, everything else had to conform and fall into place around being a mom and, judging by my spectacular daughter, it all worked out pretty great.

Erin: You'll never be completely ready, but it will be the best thing you ever do. And when you're going through those tough early stages, realize they are going to fly by! You can still do many things once you have a baby, but you do have to put them first and be able to adapt. Don't wait too long!

Hi!I religiously check your blog everyday, but never leave comments. I really must say that this is probably your best post. No, it wasn't because you blogged about some great interior (i love that though)you spoke from your heart. I don't have any advise on motherhood as i am not a mother, but let me say as a girl coming from Utah where generally people marry young and have children young. Something changes inside you when you get pregnant, you become a mother. I don't think you are ever fully ready, there are always doubts, sometimes you have to make the choice before you get the answer.

Wow. All I can say is that I "feel" you 1000%. I'm at the same place in my life and as I watch everyone around me become mothers I start to wonder -- is this what I want? would I just be having a kid because I feel like I should? etc. etc. etc.

That said though, I'm pretty sure you're never ready until it happens and that the more you think about it, the less likely you'll be do it. I imagine motherhood to be a lot like cliff diving -- the more you stand at the edge of the cliff, the less likely you'll be to make the jump. But once you've made the jump and you're safely at the bottom, you're really glad you did it.

I think you either prep for kids or you drink too many margaritas one night and..ten months later..surprise!! Quite frankly, the end result is the same. How you feel about that end result, however, is something I think that is truly unknown until it actually happens. Don't let anyone tell ya otherwise.

Keep up the honest posts. It's why I enjoy reading you so much. That and you also have really great/fun taste. ;)

I hate to be dark, but I think people fight the idea becasue we know deep down what a huge sacrifice it is for moms especially. There are a lot of great things that come with it, but as you can sense, there are a LOT of sacrifices of individuality that are made. It's just a fact. I sensed this too, and also wondered if I was just fulfilling expectations for myself and expectations of others that I was at the age to have kids. I still don't know the answer to that question, but I took the leap anyway. Of couse I love my baby, but like you I knew I didn't quite have it in me to "do it all." I ended up giving up my career and I do miss it from time to time. I just try to enjoy the moment that I am in and try to treasure it, even on the hard days. A lot of times I am exhausted and I just want to get on a plane and disappear for a month, but then they reach another milestone and it gets easier in some ways, and harder in others.

I waited until I reached a lot of the goals I wanted to, like graduate school, milestones in a career, before I took the jump. You are only 30. I think the celebs have given us a false sense of how long we can actually have kids, but you still have plenty of time. Enjoy being selfish for a bit longer because after you have kids that private headspace shrinks and you belong to someone else...at least until they are 18!

wonderfully honest post. I think the answer is that NO ONE feels like they totally have it together, even when it happens... Right? I'm not a mom yet either, and been pondering when/if I will be ready. My husband is NOT ready to it's making this life transition decision more difficult. Great post.

This sling raised the same questions in my mind! Although I am not even married yet. But I truly considered buying it for myself. Have you seen the peacock design? I loved these so much, I purchased one for a co-worker group gift and the green for my best friend. Maybe by the time I have a baby, my friend will pass it down? :)

Thank you so much for your post. I read your blog everyday and never leave any comments, but today's put me over the edge. I am 29 and my career is kicking into high gear, and like Jenny B. said, I too am the only one of my friends who doesn't have a human attached to their hip or is growing one in their belly. I am excited to start my family but I just wish I have 5 extra years to travel, work on my a career and drop everything and head out of town if it suits my husband and I. Thanks for letting me know I am not the only on out there!

Good decision on the sling, but I agree that it is FAB-U-LOUS!

And your blog totally kicks ass.

You guys are INCREDIBLE. Really, again, as long as I can keep blogging I think my life will be okay b/c it's the best part of my day!
Oh, and Maria BEck, I told my hubby the same thing- take me to Paris and THEN I'll be ready. Well, Paris is booked and I'm now posting this! LOL!

I have to admit, I've stepped away from your blog a bit, but this open and honest post might just bring me back.
Our daughter just turned two, and I'm having similar, mixed feelings about having another baby.

I don't know if you're ever 100% ready, because parenthood isn't something you've experienced. You don't really know what you're getting into, because you've only lived vicariously through other parents' experiences.

Your innate talent (and the ensuing success) won't be held back by a baby. If anything, your perspective will change, and you'll be an even more amazing designer.

I imagine your gut will serve you well in this decision, but sometimes it feels good to take the plunge.

Oh dahling ... I get it. I get IT more than you can imagine. I'm heading for the big 30 this year and it has REALLY thrown me for a loop. My friends are heading towards mommyhood rapidly and it's EVERYWHERE, isn't it? I've developed an aversion to children lately, instead of wanting them. ;) I think it's my soul reacting to so much change, because I'm sure that I'll eventually want children, but it's hard, isn't it, when such a huge life change stares you in the face. For me, I spend a lot of time thinking about the things I haven't done yet ... but then again, I think there will always be that "one last trip to Spain" that you didn't get to do.

And yes, we have a TON in common. I went to a baby store the other day while shopping for a friend and picked out my stroller (Orbit, of course) and crib. I honestly think that it's two things for you and me - pretty things are fun to look at, and pretty baby accessories (like Erika's nursery or a pink Bugaboo Bee) are no exception. I also think that we're probably inching closer to wanting that next phase of our lives ...

You're not alone! Could have written this word for word!

My husband and I married when I was 29 and he was 33. Barely a year later, we were driving around one Sunday enjoying the weekend off from work. As we passed a corner, we both saw it at once ... an antique baby pram on the side of the road (with a "free" sign attached). I knew my husband was ready to start a family but I was on the fence. Even so, we picked up that pram and put it in whatever cool car we were driving at the time (can't remember what it was, it has been so long since I drove anything one would call "cool!") and brought it home. All of our friends and family just nodded knowingly when we told them the story of our lucky find (of course they asked if we were expecting - which we weren't - we really just felt like we had to have it - although maybe we were simply expecting to expect?). About 11 months later we had a little guy to put in that pram. Life has been crazy ever since, but it is a good crazy. With that first nursery I switched careers from advertising to decorating, and 3 more boys later I have learned the value of fabrics that can withstand abuse and am well versed in decorating with non-breakable objects. I didn't think I was ready when we first saw that pram, and even now there are days when I question my sanity, but when any one of the four look up at me and say "I love you, Mom" I know that I am not missing out on a thing. Although I would never turn down a romantic trip to Paris (or anywhere for that matter!) if I could just find someone to babysit!

Just wanted to add my 2 cents. Read your blog religiously - you are so talented!!! Timing is everything!! and I am not just talking about OUR timing.. I swoon and cry at the mention of baby and just has not happened yet. My advice, if you both you and your hubby want a baby, don't wait too long!!Get busy trying, b/c No doubt you WILL be a SUPERMOM decorator!!!!

i knew i wanted kids but i wasn't ready as soon as my husband was...he won though and i was fine w/ it. i loved our life pre-baby but adding a child into has been a great, great thing! i still feel like sometimes i struggle w/ being able to be "me" and not just a "mom"...however just as long as i never buy a minivan, i feel fine about it :)

Here is my 2 cents on this subject. I think most people, especially you, can find plenty of reasons why now is not the right time. There will always be a if we just make a little more money, have a little bigger house, get my business a little farther down the road, travel a little bit more, etc. That will always be there. You would be a boring person if you were totally ready for kids…it is a lot of work, a lot of sacrifice, and a drain on your personal life.

However, it is not the end of your personal life. You don’t become old all of a sudden. You don’t lose the will or ability to travel, go out, or generally live. Yes, it may take a little more work to do those things, but they don’t go away. The scariest part for you is money. This is a tough time for anyone when it comes to money. What you have to ask yourself is, am I willing to make some small sacrifices (not get those new shoes, new rug, or new TV) in order to have kids. Part of the decision is am I ready to not be self centered? To have something else in my life take precedence (again not all the time, just most).

Compounding your frustration is whether or not kids will bring you the joy it does everyone else (or as much joy as our 2 dogs). The simple answer is yes. So much more than you realize. Take Susanna for example…talk about someone who was not ready for kids…or at least it appeared so…but I have never seen her happier.

So my 2 cents is for us to wait…a little longer…but maybe putting a timeframe on trying is a good idea…say in the next 9-12 months? You are going to be a fabulous mother and I can’t wait to see our children.
In the meantime...practice makes perfect. ;)

Love Your Husband

I do love that sling :) And, you're not at all alone in your questions - I'll soon be 34 & those same thoughts go through my head at times.

Tubes! I TOO became obsessed with the sling and bought it in green before Madeline was born (thought darker = less stains!) it is spectacular in real life, and I feel like for the cost i should wear it more; so i do to do laundry, cook, get coffee, etc, but in reality is not as comfy as the bijorn... so my advice, don't spend the $$ you can borrow mine when you decide you want to have babies and wear them stylishy around town... i even planned a rehersal dinner around the sling, because i wanted it to match.... crazy, yes!

also - i never think you are totally READY, but you think you are, and you get pregnant - you get nervous during pregnancy and then you meet your amazing baby and you have never been more ready in your life.

have fun with it - don't stress - and have fun in Paris.

xo-Becky

Everyone feels exactly the same way you do. You will never be 100% ready, you'll never have done everything you wanted to do, saved enough money, or have gotten everything in your life arranged exactly the way you want it, etc. But the "never being exactly ready" part is what makes it all so amazingly perfect when you do it. If you're like me, once you do it you'll realize that being a mother is just what you needed to finally feel complete. Best of luck with whatever you decide!

Your blog post so reminds me of my friend who wrote the exact same thing (almost verbatim!) a couples years ago. Of course she ended up getting PG right away and has a lovely boy named Sebastian. She had just turned 30, was doing well in her career and now her little boy is her world, and she loves it that way.
I don't know, it's one of those things in life that you cannot comprehend until you experience it yourself. No matter what people will tell you, your experience will be your own so there is no planning, especially emotionally for such a thing. Let the idea sink in, visit baby shops and talk to mothers and just do what you feel most comfortable with.

You will never really be 100% ready to have a baby. There will always be new professional goals, more places you want to see, more things you want to do (it's human nature). The best advice I can give (as a mother of two) is follow your heart. When the pangs of motherhood start to tear at the heart strings you'll know it's time. Stop listening to your head and start listening to your heart and I am sure you'll find your answer.

By the way - motherhood is truly a gift and totally fabulous (most of the time) ;-) Good Luck!!

I have been tempted to buy that exact same sling for whenever I get pregnant too. Then I think it's weird since I am not pregnant and I'm nervous I will jinx myself if I buy anything baby related! If I ever have a girl her nursery is already planned out and decorated (in my mind at least!) My biological clock has been ticking for a few years now but we are never "ready" to make the leap. loved reading your post ... makes me remember I'm not the only one thinking these things!

I wanted to tell you that parenthood is the hardest but most rewarding job you can ever have! I too struggled with the whole baby thing, but one day I decided I can't put this off anymore and went for it! It took us 10 months to get pregnant and now I have a beautiful, temper throwing 20 month old girl. Some days are good and some not so good, but I would never change it!
I had to come to terms with the fact that my wants and needs would have to sit on the back burner temporarily. I still have my design business I run from home and so far so good. Nap time = run the business time. You'll be amazed what you can do in those 3 hours!
I know you've been following NieNie's story. What an example she's been to me. It makes me want to enjoy everyday with my daughter and never take a moment for granted! Stephanie (NieNie) grew up down the street from me. Her sister Courtney (cjane) is one of my best friends. It's been hard watching what has happened, but I think she has been able to touch peoples lives in ways they never imagined.
When the time is right you will know.
P.S. I was a labor and delivery nurse for three years and there is definitely such a thing as a biological clock. No pressure though! ;)

Okay, I am 32, live in the "burbs" and feeling the same way....the clock is ticking, but I am terrified! I can't wait to see the advice! Love your blog!

We all bought issues of Martha Stewart Weddings at $6 a pop long before we were engaged (for some of us before we were in relationships!) How is wanting the sling any different? I think it just speaks to a love of good design.

Serena & Lilly have a beautiful new book out if you want to feed your nursery/design addiction a little further.

I was obsessed with baby stuff too!! If you love fashion, etc. it is hard not to get caught up, but in the end it is not about the cute clothes, its about being ready to be a mother and embrassing it!

Take your time, but not too long- for someone who does not get pregnant easily.

I too went to Paris for my 30th b'day and enjoy because I have not been too Europe since my little man was born 3 1/2 year ago.

Love the blog btw, I am a friend of Julie R.:)

Erin, You sound like me. Before Morgan was conceived I had a closet full of baby goods. I couldn't resist. I always justified it by saying, "One day I'll use this stuff"! Thanks for your kind words! You are too much... have a baby... a lot of them. They're great!

For whatever it's worth, there is a reason it takes 9 months to have a baby. Not only does it take that long for the baby to develop, but there are things that happen along the way to prepare you, the mother, for the impending changes in your life. You get up to pee a gizillion times a night not only because you have this being weighing on your bladder, but also to prepare you for getting up in the night AFTER the baby is born. There is also a really good reason babies look like their parents- so you don't leave them on the side of the road when they have had the most disgusting case of diaherra, vomited, and are crying this god-awful cry that makes you just want to dig a hole in the backyard and live there for the rest of your life (read that stated with love ). The highs make it all completely worth while. There is NOTHING like hearing your child say your name for the first time, the giggle of your kiddo, or your own eyes looking up at you to make sure that you're still there, then that huge, beautiful smile of recognition. Heartbreaking! You and your child learn as you go, so don't sweat it if you're not completely ready- are any of us?

I am a HUGE fan of starting a baby box before you are even pregnant. I have about 20 small items that I couldn't live without when I had my own kids (collected over about 3 years). I love to pull it out every once and a while and I am so glad that I purchased every item. Most are gender neutral items. We also have a crib and changing table in storage because I couldn't pass up getting my god daughter's super posh baby items.

I was so touched when I saw that your husband wrote in. Anyone who is willing to put that out there in response to his wife's blog is definitely going to be a wonderful father. It certainly touched my heart, as I imagine it did yours.

There is a funniest book on this subject "Babyhood" by Paul Raiser. It is hysterical, but with a very true, warm and precious insight. Check it out!

I'm 5 months pregnant with our first baby. I'm 28 (well, almost 29 by the time baby comes). Our baby was a wonderful surprise that we, initially, weren't sure if we were ready for. But I think that's part of the challenge and the fun. Most of what has happened in my life so far hasn't been planned, but I can't imagine where I'd be without those things happening and the lessons learned through those experiences. People keep saying "once you have the baby you won't remember your life before him or her". I'm sure that's true, too. I don't think a baby means the end of your life as you know it - you can still be a sucessful business woman AND you can still travel (I hate that people feel their travel days are over once baby arrives. It's not over, it just changes a little). My parents always traveled with me and my 3 siblings and we all survived and have fantastic memories because of it.

I guess what I'm saying is that I think very few people are ever 100% ready to have a baby. But I do think that once you feel those little feet kicking your belly you'll feel like you can't imagine life without him or her already.

And I'm glad you didn't get the sling. I think I'm a little too superstitious for that! ;)

I know exactly how you feel. I have been in so many stores recently buying gifts for lots of friends and families for their new babies and knowing that it is almost time for me to have one makes it so hard to want to wait to design my nursery and buy the cute stuff for me. I've refrained from purchasing cute things at stores so far but it is getting harder and harder as I now am suspecting that I may be. I am trying to remind myself that there will be plenty of time if I am and even if I will be later. As for whether it or not it is bad luck to buy the stuff, maybe but I don't typically worry about those things. Things work out the way they should whether you bought a diaper bag first or second. Which I may have done...and it isn't a real diaper bag, but I am going to use it for that...Whew, justification always means it was something you shouldn't have done or something you shouldn't have told anyone about yet.

I love what Erika did so far with her nursery...the fabrics she picked are genius. Then again, that pink rocker you originally picked out for her was gorgeous, as well, and inspired my own nursery, so I think you both pretty much rock my world;)

Loved your article, but I gotta tell you that this sling is awful for actually carrying a baby. See how the shoulder strap is near the mom's neck, this is extremely painful. You want the baby's weight to be on the bones near the outside of the shoulder. Weight on the muscle or on the neck will cause pain.

Also... the ideal position for carrying a baby is upright against the mother's chest, you can't do this with this particular sling (with others you can).

When a baby is laying down in a "bag" sling such as this you must be particularly careful that their airway is protected, if they curl up into a ball with their chin pressed into the chest it can cause breathing problems, even suffocation.

This sling *may* work for a couple of weeks, but a good sling should work as long as you want to carry your baby (up to 2-3 years).

It *is* beautiful though

Hi Erin...I understand your concern, but I can assure you that it can work, especially with your supportive husband AND willing mother. I have a set of 2-year old twins and a 10 month old and I own a decorating business. It's not easy by a long shot, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I am so glad that I had them when I did...kids take a lot of energy...so in my opinion, the sooner the better. best wishes!

You know you're ready when you start buying baby things! There's never going to be enough time, enough money, no "right time." So, buy the sling and start trying. You'll be so happy you did. (Have a back up plan for that sling in case your baby hates it - you can always make it into a little pillow).

I don't have time to read all of the comments, but I have that sling, in green, and it is gorgeous, but it is not comfortable at all. It is not adjustable, and it hurts if you wear it for longer than an hour or so. I would recommend the baby bjorn or another carrier that distributes the weight evenly throughout your back and shoulders. My baby is now 4 months old and I haven't used it in a while.

It appears to me that your "nesting' has begun...If you then get a dog...your pretty much there. Hysterical post & always good to visit! Oh gosh, i just remembered that you tweeted about the long overdue return of Flipping Out. I must find out when. Have a good weekend. Lisa

Don't beat yourself up. What you are going through is no different than single gals dreaming about their wedding. Let's face it, you love well designed stuff, and there is stuff aplenty in babydom.

Your question of "how do you know?" is a tough one. There are practical considerations, like doing a gut check on your partner and asking "is he ready, are WE ready?". The upheaval in your life, your relationships, your career is massive. Priorities will be reshuffled, relationships will suffer, of this you can be sure. Basically, will you still love that Serena and Lily sling when it's covered with God-knows-what and has a crying baby in it?

I had to post this after just seeing it online- this is EXACTLY how I feel about having a baby from my favorite author, Elizabeth Gilbert:

"Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit."

Years ago, weren't hope chests all the rage? Women (and their mothers) would gather, collect and store items in "Hope Chests" for their future marriage and family. This included baby items. I don't think there is anything wrong with buying a few (not an entire baby's room worth) items to keep for "some day."

Buy the sling! :) ...and a stylish hope chest!

i'm only 23 and marriage and children are way off for me. but everytime i see this sling {HUGE serena and lily fan}, i have the same reaction as you. i've actually come close to ordering it. it's just soooooooooo gorgeous!!

Oh my, great post. I got pregnant 2 months after being married, yikes. Birth control did not work for me. It definitely threw us for a loop but 5 years later I am good and couldn't imagine it any other way. Oh, and I would have so bought that sling. It would be perfect. we are "done" having children and I even considered it just incase, ha!

It's a choice, not a feeling. We chose no and my life feels wonderful and complete. I don't think I've missed anything.

i agree with a lot of the other posters. you are never truly *ready*. and by the way, you can always find that sling on ebay when you do decide you are ready. best wishes to you!

Erin - I was just looking at this for my sister who has a new baby (and adorable nursery), and realized you were writing about the McPherson twins, whom I know from Louisville where I grew up. Their blogs are fabulous!